[A Gustav's Fanfic] CHAPTER 2 COMMENTS PLEASE*

[berthaxoxo]

I woke up at 11:00 am thanks to the sun; I prepared myself to go out to eat breakfast and then go to my interview, I was really anxious about it I mean it was my first time at TRL and I was going to promote my first Cd so we headed to Starbucks I was doing the line to get my coffee and muffin I bought it and then sat on the table, I was eating it really calmed while I was listening to Tokio Hotel, I was looking the big buildings from the window so I finished eating and I headed to Time Square I was looking all the stores and the people so we finally arrived to the Mtv Building, I was getting nervous and nervous because of the fact that maybe there wasn’t going to be fans or people wasn’t going to like my first single or I don’t know and my manager told me that there was going to be another artist or a band (he wasn’t really sure)there so I was nervous. I started walking and walking and then some people that worked in Mtv told me to stop and get in that room that there’s where I will wait till they announce me, so I entered the room and there was 2 big couches so I sated and waited and waited I got to say I was really bored, suddenly the door opened and four guys entered the room, one kinda looked like a girl but a pretty girl he had black long hair and brown eyes I felt really fat when I saw him he was so thin and tall, the other one had dreadlocks and brown and blonde hair and it was really tall too, another one was tall because everyone is tall next to me he had blonde hair and he had big arms and he was a little bit fat not to much but he had something and the last one had brown hair he was tall too and had gorgeous eyes greennn I was like STUPID! Cause I’ve always wanted green eyes they seated in the couch and presented themselves I was like OMG they are Tokio Hotel I couldn’t believe it
Hi Im Bill
Hi Im Tom
Hi Im Gustav
Hi Im Georg
So I stand up and gave them a kiss on the cheek and said nice to meet you Im Natasha
Nice to meet you too they all said
So what are you going to do today? Are you going to perform?
Umm yeah Im going to present my first single Im really nervous
What? You shouldn’t you are going to be great said Bill
OHHH… thanks I hope
So are you going to perform too?
No we are only going to be on the interview said Bill
Oh cool
Maybe will be together on the interview said Gustav
Umm I don’t think that’s gonna happen but well..
Umm well maybe it does he said while he was looking at me
So what type of music do you sing? Asked me Georg
Pop rock I like that type of music
Oh cool but you should definitely do rap said Tom
Haha No I suck at that I have tried but that is definitely not my thing
Haha but at least you like it Tom said
Yeah of course that type of music is awesome
What? EWWWWW said Bill while looking at Tom
Haha you wish it was said Tom looking at Bill with a face of Im going to punch you
Rock Rocks said Bill
Yeah yeah whatever said Tom with indifference
So are you guys going to have concerts in New York cause I really want to go to one?
Well right now we don’t know we’ll let you know said Gustav
*Now with us presenting her first single for the first time Natasha * said the Tv
Oh My Gayyyyy…. I have to go now
You are going to do it well don’t worry they said
Thanks well Bye it was nice too meet you all

So when I was heading to the door Gustav grabbed my hand and told me

Everything is going to be fine and he winked me
I hope
I’ll see you later right? Gustav said
If you are still here then yes
I will

So I headed to the studio…

*While in the room*
Dude what was all that? I have never seen you hitting on a girl? Tom asked
What? I was not hitting on her I mean she’s probably like 15 years old
And? They all said
Well I don’t like to go out with little girls
Yeah yeah whatever you say Georg and Tom said



Please let me know if you like it!!
If so I'll post more

[berthaxoxo]

Please tell me what do you think!!

[steevie!]

that was kool ^-^
You should post some more :D

[lilangel02371]

MEHR BITTE!!! I LOVED IT MORE WHENEVER YOU CAN!!!

[berthaxoxo]

Please more comments so I can put the next chapter :)

[steevie!]

-.-

thats my impatient face :D

[berthaxoxo]

-.-

thats my impatient face :D

haha I will post soon but I just need more readers!!
:)

[Rette mich]

I like it...

[steevie!]

-.-

thats my impatient face :D

haha I will post soon but I just need more readers!!
:)

-.-
mkay.
Ill be patient :D

[berthaxoxo]

please more comments

[steevie!]

comment people -.-

Steevie wants more >.<

(*-*)
-angryface-

[berthaxoxo]

Heres is more...

*While on the studio*
Natasha Thank You so much for coming
No thanks to you
I think everyone would like you to stay and play the kiss and tell with Tokio Hotel am I right?
Yes.. The crowed screamed
Ok well I’ll stay
Now lets hear everyone screaming for Tokio Hotel

*In the room*
Ok guys lets go said Bill

Welcome Tokio Hotel how are you guys doing? Said the host
We are good thanks said Bill
Ok so we are gonna play a game called Kiss and tell are you guys ready?
Yes we are said Tom

Ok so lets start with Bill, Spin it

So he spins it and he got worst kiss

Ok so you got to tell us your worst kiss said the host
Ok so it was with a friend and we were drunk so we started kissing and she gave me the worst kiss ever we just tried to forget that and just be friends

Now is Natasha’s turn

So I spin it, and I got first kiss I was so nervous because I have never had a kiss and I couldn’t think of anything

Ok so tell us your story said the host
Umm.. well it was…
Ummm… haha
So? Said the host and the audience and th
Ok ok I have never kissed anyone

Everyone stared at me with a face of what the?

Well if you want I can give you your first kiss said Tom
Haha no thanks I said

I was next to gustav I was just standing looking at the shocked faces when suddenly Gustav grabbed me and kiss me passionately, I was trying to get out of that kiss but i just couldn’t I was actually liken it he was holding me tight and I didn’t want it to end whn we separate everyone looked at us with a face of shock tom couldn’t believe that gustav just did that and I couldn’t believe it too

Now you can tell your story of your first kiss Gustav Told me while I was still in shock
umm yeah I guess

the show ended and I left the building I heard someone saying my name but I thought it was my imagination but then I saw gustav running towards me and…

[Nyloria]

*New Reader*
More please! I love fanfics with Gustav in them!

[steevie!]

oh cheese .-.

that was intense.

[tokiohotel26]

:shock: :o :shock: :o :shock: :o :shock: :o :shock: :o
wow...that was a crazy chapter and i loved it!

[berthaxoxo]

So do you think I should continue?
Please more comments with your opinion!!
Remember they are very important

[steevie!]

you should totally continue ^_^

[berthaxoxo]

Haha Thanks
that means a lot to me :D

[tokiohotel26]

definitely continue :mrgreen:

[Bill Kaulitz=Love]

Okay, I don't want to be mean. I'm just trying to help you improve your writing, so please don't take this the wrong way. Your story definitely has potential, and the plot is good, but you just need to form the writing structure correctly. For example, your first chapter is almost one sentence. You need to separate them into different paragraphs and sentences with commas and periods. Also, when someone talks you have to use quotaion marks. Instead of your whole first paragrph, it should be something like this:

I woke up at 11:00 AM thanks to the sun and I prepared myself to go out to eat breakfast, then go to my interview, which I was really anxious about. I mean, it was my first time at TRL and I was going to promote my first CD.

When we headed to Starbucks I stood in the line to get my coffee and muffin, bought them and then sat on the table. Eating it really calmed me down while I was listening to Tokio Hotel and looking the big buildings from the window. Once I finished eating I headed to Time Square, looking at all the stores and people. We finally arrived to the MTV building, and I was getting nervous because of the possibility that maybe there wasn’t going to be fans or people weren’t going to like my first single, or I don’t know and my manager told me that there was going to be another artist or a band (he wasn’t really sure)there.

I started walking and walking and then some people that worked in MTV told me to stop and get in that room that was there, where I would wait till they announce me. I entered the room and there was 2 big couches, so I sat and waited. I have to say I was really bored, but suddenly the door opened and four guys entered the room. One kind of looked like a girl--a pretty girl. He had black long hair and brown eyes, and I felt really fat because he was so thin and tall. Another one had dreadlocks and brown and blonde hair, and was really tall too. The next guy was tall with blonde hair and he had big arms. He was a little bit chubby, but not too much. The last one had brown hair and he was tall too. He had gorgeous green eyes I was jealous of, because I’ve always wanted green eyes. They sat on the couch and presented themselves. Suddenly I realized something. Oh my Goodness, they are Tokio Hotel! I couldn’t believe it


See? You could also use some bigger vocabulary to make your writing really pop and be less repetitive. I'm really sorry if this offended you because it wasn't meant to. I truly think that if you took my advice you'd get the comments you wanted, but you don't have to. It's your choice. Once again, sorry!

[Unknown598]

*i agree w/ Bill Kaulitz=Love


other than that, its AWESOME

im gonna have to remember to keep reading 2 *no problem*...



more more plz *holds out hand* :mrgreen: :D

[berthaxoxo]

Okay, I don't want to be mean. I'm just trying to help you improve your writing, so please don't take this the wrong way. Your story definitely has potential, and the plot is good, but you just need to form the writing structure correctly. For example, your first chapter is almost one sentence. You need to separate them into different paragraphs and sentences with commas and periods. Also, when someone talks you have to use quotaion marks. Instead of your whole first paragrph, it should be something like this:

I woke up at 11:00 AM thanks to the sun and I prepared myself to go out to eat breakfast, then go to my interview, which I was really anxious about. I mean, it was my first time at TRL and I was going to promote my first CD.

When we headed to Starbucks I stood in the line to get my coffee and muffin, bought them and then sat on the table. Eating it really calmed me down while I was listening to Tokio Hotel and looking the big buildings from the window. Once I finished eating I headed to Time Square, looking at all the stores and people. We finally arrived to the MTV building, and I was getting nervous because of the possibility that maybe there wasn’t going to be fans or people weren’t going to like my first single, or I don’t know and my manager told me that there was going to be another artist or a band (he wasn’t really sure)there.

I started walking and walking and then some people that worked in MTV told me to stop and get in that room that was there, where I would wait till they announce me. I entered the room and there was 2 big couches, so I sat and waited. I have to say I was really bored, but suddenly the door opened and four guys entered the room. One kind of looked like a girl--a pretty girl. He had black long hair and brown eyes, and I felt really fat because he was so thin and tall. Another one had dreadlocks and brown and blonde hair, and was really tall too. The next guy was tall with blonde hair and he had big arms. He was a little bit chubby, but not too much. The last one had brown hair and he was tall too. He had gorgeous green eyes I was jealous of, because I’ve always wanted green eyes. They sat on the couch and presented themselves. Suddenly I realized something. Oh my Goodness, they are Tokio Hotel! I couldn’t believe it


See? You could also use some bigger vocabulary to make your writing really pop and be less repetitive. I'm really sorry if this offended you because it wasn't meant to. I truly think that if you took my advice you'd get the comments you wanted, but you don't have to. It's your choice. Once again, sorry!


No actually thanks!!
This really helps me
cause Im not use to write in english cause I live in Venezuela so...
That u did this is really helpfull!!
Thanks again

[Bill Kaulitz=Love]

Okay, I don't want to be mean. I'm just trying to help you improve your writing, so please don't take this the wrong way. Your story definitely has potential, and the plot is good, but you just need to form the writing structure correctly. For example, your first chapter is almost one sentence. You need to separate them into different paragraphs and sentences with commas and periods. Also, when someone talks you have to use quotaion marks. Instead of your whole first paragrph, it should be something like this:

I woke up at 11:00 AM thanks to the sun and I prepared myself to go out to eat breakfast, then go to my interview, which I was really anxious about. I mean, it was my first time at TRL and I was going to promote my first CD.

When we headed to Starbucks I stood in the line to get my coffee and muffin, bought them and then sat on the table. Eating it really calmed me down while I was listening to Tokio Hotel and looking the big buildings from the window. Once I finished eating I headed to Time Square, looking at all the stores and people. We finally arrived to the MTV building, and I was getting nervous because of the possibility that maybe there wasn’t going to be fans or people weren’t going to like my first single, or I don’t know and my manager told me that there was going to be another artist or a band (he wasn’t really sure)there.

I started walking and walking and then some people that worked in MTV told me to stop and get in that room that was there, where I would wait till they announce me. I entered the room and there was 2 big couches, so I sat and waited. I have to say I was really bored, but suddenly the door opened and four guys entered the room. One kind of looked like a girl--a pretty girl. He had black long hair and brown eyes, and I felt really fat because he was so thin and tall. Another one had dreadlocks and brown and blonde hair, and was really tall too. The next guy was tall with blonde hair and he had big arms. He was a little bit chubby, but not too much. The last one had brown hair and he was tall too. He had gorgeous green eyes I was jealous of, because I’ve always wanted green eyes. They sat on the couch and presented themselves. Suddenly I realized something. Oh my Goodness, they are Tokio Hotel! I couldn’t believe it


See? You could also use some bigger vocabulary to make your writing really pop and be less repetitive. I'm really sorry if this offended you because it wasn't meant to. I truly think that if you took my advice you'd get the comments you wanted, but you don't have to. It's your choice. Once again, sorry!


No actually thanks!!
This really helps me
cause Im not use to write in english cause I live in Venezuela so...
That u did this is really helpfull!!
Thanks again
Oh, good! I was so worried that you would think I was mean. If you'd like, I could help you form your chapters correctly.

[berthaxoxo]

Okay, I don't want to be mean. I'm just trying to help you improve your writing, so please don't take this the wrong way. Your story definitely has potential, and the plot is good, but you just need to form the writing structure correctly. For example, your first chapter is almost one sentence. You need to separate them into different paragraphs and sentences with commas and periods. Also, when someone talks you have to use quotaion marks. Instead of your whole first paragrph, it should be something like this:

I woke up at 11:00 AM thanks to the sun and I prepared myself to go out to eat breakfast, then go to my interview, which I was really anxious about. I mean, it was my first time at TRL and I was going to promote my first CD.

When we headed to Starbucks I stood in the line to get my coffee and muffin, bought them and then sat on the table. Eating it really calmed me down while I was listening to Tokio Hotel and looking the big buildings from the window. Once I finished eating I headed to Time Square, looking at all the stores and people. We finally arrived to the MTV building, and I was getting nervous because of the possibility that maybe there wasn’t going to be fans or people weren’t going to like my first single, or I don’t know and my manager told me that there was going to be another artist or a band (he wasn’t really sure)there.

I started walking and walking and then some people that worked in MTV told me to stop and get in that room that was there, where I would wait till they announce me. I entered the room and there was 2 big couches, so I sat and waited. I have to say I was really bored, but suddenly the door opened and four guys entered the room. One kind of looked like a girl--a pretty girl. He had black long hair and brown eyes, and I felt really fat because he was so thin and tall. Another one had dreadlocks and brown and blonde hair, and was really tall too. The next guy was tall with blonde hair and he had big arms. He was a little bit chubby, but not too much. The last one had brown hair and he was tall too. He had gorgeous green eyes I was jealous of, because I’ve always wanted green eyes. They sat on the couch and presented themselves. Suddenly I realized something. Oh my Goodness, they are Tokio Hotel! I couldn’t believe it


See? You could also use some bigger vocabulary to make your writing really pop and be less repetitive. I'm really sorry if this offended you because it wasn't meant to. I truly think that if you took my advice you'd get the comments you wanted, but you don't have to. It's your choice. Once again, sorry!


No actually thanks!!
This really helps me
cause Im not use to write in english cause I live in Venezuela so...
That u did this is really helpfull!!
Thanks again
Oh, good! I was so worried that you would think I was mean. If you'd like, I could help you form your chapters correctly.


Yeah that will be awesome!!
Thanks!! :D

[Bill Kaulitz=Love]

No problem. You can PM me when you're done with the next part. And I won't change what you don't want me to. I still want the writing to be yours, because it's only fair. So when you give it to me, you can tell me everything you do and don't want me to change.

[Unknown598]

*mini bump

*this is good fanfic

[berthaxoxo]

Chapter 3

He kissed me again, I couldn’t believe it, I actually got really ticked about the fact that he was seeing me like “I can kiss her all I want because she won’t kick my ass”.

”Hey dude, the fact that you kissed me once doesn’t mean you can kiss me all you want,” I said while looking at him directly at his eyes, wanting to punch him or something.

”I know, I’m sorry. It’s just that I wanted to remember your kiss for the last time because I know you will never be mine, and I’m leaving soon to Germany,” he said with a face of embarrassment.

”Well I hope this is the last time because if this happens again, I’m going to punch you so hard that you will never come here and kiss me again. And yeah, you are right; I’ll never be yours ‘cause I just don’t like you.” I said this while I was still mad. He just left with a sad face, like he wanted to cry. But at least he learned the lesson, so I got on the car and headed to my apartment. I couldn’t think of anything else other than the way I treated Gustav. I felt so bad! I crossed the line. I could have just said—well I can’t think of anything right now, but something that wouldn’t hurt like those words did.

The car stopped and I saw that I was in front of the building. I got out of the car and opened the front door of the building, entered the elevator and clicked the button for the 7th floor, and waited until I was on my floor. When the elevators door opened I got out and headed down the hallway. I was happy when I finally got to my apartment and prepared myself to sleep. I was so exhausted after all of the things happened in the day: I met Tokio Hotel, went to TRL, met people that liked my music, and Gustav kissed me. He didn’t do it once, but twice. Getting to bed and getting really comfy, I closed my eyes.

I couldn’t sleep, though. I tossed and turned, trying to fall asleep. I even tried picturing sheep in my head and counting them (and I never did that, so it was a sign of desperation), but I just couldn’t drift into dreamland. Gustav was in my mind: his kisses, his words, and his face. I felt even worse than before. I wanted to call him and apologize, but I didn’t have his number. Even if I did it was too late. He’d probably already be asleep himself. I became envious of this as the thought crept into my mind.

I didn’t know what was happening. I mean, I have treated boys badly before and never felt bad (it sounds mean, but you don’t know the circumstances). Well, maybe it was because I didn’t treat them as bad as I did with Gustav, or maybe it was because I was feeling something for him…I mentally laughed. No, that definitely can’t be happening, I thought. I mean, I’ve never liked Gustav. He is one of the ugliest guys I’ve ever seen! But even as I thought this I knew it wasn’t true.

Oh Gosh, I think I like him! I think I really like him. Ugh, I’m so stupid! This always happens to me and first, I don’t like them. But when I rejected them I started to like them. I screamed in my head and I want to kill myself. Why had I him that I was not interested in him, why? Why? This word stretched in my mind and I became angrier at myself by the passing second.

I needed to talk to him, to apologize. I know he’s not going to want to be my boyfriend, but that’s the least I can do. I can’t stand thinking that he’s mad at me. But where I’m going to find him? Where? Gosh, I didn’t know. I decided to sleep again, and it seemed like the gods had pity on me, because this time I fell asleep really quickly.

[steevie!]

she was mean >.<
but it was cute ^-^

continue ^-^